Tea time for puppets
by RedSand
Summary: Deidara always wondered why Sasori skipped lunch on Thursday... SasoriDeidaraOrochimaruHirukoKazekage/Orosasu Sasodei Twoshot.
1. Chapter 1

**R&R, or I will send James Hetfield to your house and have him curse at you!**

**Dear diary, this is your best friend Deidara, most artistic artist of the Akatsuki. The weirdest thing happened today. Its Thursday, and like any other Thursday, Sasori danna didn't come to lunch. Every Thursday, he sits in his room during lunchtime. One time I went to see what he was doing, but there was a sign on the door that said "Puppets only. (That means you Deidara.)" but I remember how it happened today like it was two minutes ago...**

"**And where is Sasori this time?" Pein asked, slightly irritated with me.**

"**I dunno, he always skips lunch on Thursdays." I said back.**

"**Well go up there and see what he's up to!" He was angry for some reason or another.**

**I went upstairs to see if I could peak in the room. The same sign as always was up, but I cracked open the door and looked in anyways.**

"**No no Hiruko, no tea yet. We have to wait for the rest of our guests." Sasori said, talking to Hiruko.**

**He was sitting at a small table that had tea on it. On opposite sides of the table were Hiruko and the third Kazekage.**

"**Sasori danna went crazy!" I said to myself, not opening the door further.**

**That's when things got really crazy. Sasori danna's old partner, Orochimaru came through the window.**

"**Sorry I'm late Sasori, but you know my hair." The snaky looking man said.**

"**That's ok. Ready for tea, former comrade Orochimaru?" Danna asked.**

"**But of coarse former comrade Sasori!" Snaky said back.**

**Suddenly, Sasori danna got up and reached in one of his drawers and pulled out little talisman thingys, kind of like what he kept for his heart. He put them in little sockets he kept on Hiruko and the Kazekage, and the two came to life like he did.**

**I gasped a little, and saw them all sitting around for tea no less?**

"**Thursday already?" Hiruko said, stretching out his arms and yawning.**

"**Hello there Orochimaru, Sasori danna, Hiruko." Mr. Kazekage said. (That no good puppet stole my line!)**

"**Well are we all ready for tea?" Mr. Snaky poo asked.**

**Suddenly, I fell into the room, catching everyone's attention. Hiruko used his tail to shut the door back up and lock it before joining everyone else in staring at me.**

"**Um... Hello Sasori danna and friends!" I nervously chuckled. (Them are big words!)**

"**What are you doing here little girl?" Snakes asked.**

"**Just dropping in!" I said, backing up towards the door.**

**Mr. Kazekage giggled and started clapping, and the others stared at him.**

"**Orochimaru, this is my new partner, Deidara." Danna said in that sexy little voice of his. (We've ****all**** thought of him doing suggestive things to us, haven't we?)**

"**Well maybe we should let her stay for tea!" Snakums said.**

"**Orochimaru, Deidara is a he." Hiruko said, catching Snakes off guard.**

"**Deidara, would you like to stay for tea?" Danna asked.**

"**I suppose so." I replied, taking a seat in between Sasori danna and Hiruko.**

**Hiruko used his tail to pour us all tea, but used his arms to drink it.**

**We talked about how we had a whole bunch of the tailed beasties, and Snakedy snake talked about how its cool to run you own country.**

"**Ooh! Look at the time! I must be going, Its almost three and Juugo needs to be fed his daily Baby Ruth!" Snaky Snaky Snaky Snakes said. Sasori Danna took the talisman/ heart thingys out of Mr. Kazekage and Hiruko before putting them back in the puppet closet. Snakers left out the window, and I completely forgot I was supposed to tell Pein what Danna was doing.**

"**Well?! What is Sasori doing up there!" Pein yelled at me.**

"**Entertaining guests." I said, anxiously waiting for next Thursday.**


	2. Chapter 2

"**So danna un, is Orochimaru coming back today for tea?" Deidara asked as they woke up.**

"**No, we switch back and forth so today I'm going to see him."**

**Deidara was a tad distressed, after all, "**_**I'm **_**going to see him"? Wasn't he invited over?**

"**What about me un, can't I come?"**

"**I guess, he probably won't mind, hurry up and get dressed." The puppet replied, crawling out of bed and going to his dresser.**

"**We've gotta leave now un?"**

"**Yeah, by the time we get to Oto it'll be time for lunch." Sasori answered, walking into the bathroom with the armful of clothes.**

"**Alright danna un." Deidara said, getting out of bed and moving to the dresser, grabbing his clothes and getting dressed.**

**Sasori emerged as Deidara was buttoning his cloak, walking over to the window and opening it up.**

"**Hurry up, I don't wanna keep Orochimaru waiting." He said, as he began crawling out.**

"**Danna, why are you crawling out the window un?"**

"**We can't just leave, someone might figure out where we're going."**

"**Oh yeah un, but what about Hiruko and the Kazekage puppet?"**

"**Those are for when Orochimaru comes here, He has his own guests." He said, jumping out the window, Deidara jumping out to meet him.**

"**So he won't mind me?" Deidara asked as they took off away from the base.**

"**No, I think he likes you a little."**

"**Likes me how un?" He asked, since the snaky man was a tad creepy.**

"**Don't worry, he doesn't like you like I like you."**

**This sparked the blonde's interest, he didn't know that the puppet liked him at all, maybe the two would finally get involved, maybe they could even push their beds together…**

"**How is that un?"**

"**Well, he likes you like an acquaintance, and you're kind of like a friend to me you know, I respect you, you respect me, we're closer."**

**At hearing this his high spirit sunk a little, though mutual respect and being close, that could lead to something couldn't it?**

"**So who's he bringing un?" **

"**Who knows, probably the kid he always hangs around and someone else."**

"**Kid? Is he a pedophile?"**

"**No, well, maybe…the kid's somewhere near sixteen so he might be legal."**

"**Oh, but isn't he like fifty un?"**

"**So he likes them young, I prefer younger men myself."**

"**You're into guys un?" Deidara asked, is voice full of anticipation.**

"**Yeah, so what, you got a problem?" Sasori asked, taking the question the wrong way.**

"**No danna un, I'm…" He was cut off by running into Sasori and falling down, looking up to see the puppet looking down at him.**

"**We're here, get up." Sasori said, completely ignoring the blonde's previous explanation.**

"**Ok un…" He said, looking up to see the small yet well decorated building with a silver haired man with glasses wearing a kimono waiting for them.**

"**Hello Sasori-sama, Orochimaru-sama has been expecting you, who is this?" He asked, pointing towards Deidara.**

"**This is Deidara, he joined us last time and is coming back today."**

"**Very well then, follow me you two." He said, leading them in.**

"**Who's that un?" Deidara whispered to the puppet as they walked down the hallway.**

"**That's Kabuto, he works for me and Orochimaru, he serves the tea." **

"**Oh, he really goes all out un." Deidara replied as they entered the room containing the snaky man and kid.**

"**Sasori-kun, glad you can make it, and you brought Deidara again!" He said. "Deidara, this is Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun, Deidara."**

**The black haired teen nodded towards Deidara, who replied with an un as he and Sasori joined Sasuke and Orochimaru.**

"**Who else will be joining us today?" Sasori asked, as Kabuto came in and poured them tea.**

"**Oh, James-kun agreed to come today, he should be here shortly." Orochimaru replied as Kabuto bowed and walked out.**

"**Don't you think that's a little abusive, forcing Kabuto to do that?" Sasori asked as soon as he was gone.**

"**No, Kabuto loves dressing like that, he's got a little crush on me and I like to take advantage of it." Orochimaru answered, he Sasori and Sasuke laughing afterwards.**

"**Hey assholes, whatcha laughin' at?" A voice said walking into the room.**

"**Ahh, James-kun, glad you could make it!"**

**The man with short blond hair and a small beard walked in wearing a black pair of jeans, a pair of boots and a motorhead shirt walked in and took a seat next to Orochimaru.**

"**Sasori-kun, Deidara, this is James Hetfield, he'll be joining us today."**

"**Kabuto already through here?" James asked Orochimaru nodding and noticing James ad no tea.**

"**He must've forgot about you, should I call him back?"**

"**No man, I'm good, so who're these two?"**

"**This is Sasori and Deidara, they're joining us today."**

"**Well hell yeah, let's get this thing started!" He said, as they began.**

"**So Sasori, why did you bring Deidara back today?"**

"**Oh, he asked to come along and I figured you wouldn't mind."**

"**I don't like him." Sasuke said, irritating the blond.**

"**What I do to you un?"**

"**It's your speech impediment, it's annoying." **

"**I dunno, it's kinda cool sounding, sayin' yeah every sentence." James said.**

"**Well thanks un."**

"**No problem man."**

**The conversation switched between topics of Akatsuki, Oto, touring, explosions, speech impediments, puppets, why a fifteen year old can consent and have a loving relationship with a fifty year old, yada yada.**

"**Well it's getting late, we should go." Sasori said as he and Deidara got up.**

"**Right, later man." James said getting up, "About time I left anyway, Lars is a bitch if I'm not back by ten."**

**Orochimaru and Sasuke got up and walked off, waving as the three groups left in different directions.**

"**Well that was ok un, James seemed nice." Deidara said as they walked back towards the Akatsuki base.**

"**I'm still mad at you." Sasori replied, crossing his arms.**

"**You never even let me explain un!"**

"**Then go ahead."**

"**I didn't mean anything when I asked if you were gay, I'm gay too un!"**

"**Seriously? I always figured you were metero."**

"**Nope un, out and proud." He said, as Sasori uncrossed his arms. "And nearly twenty years younger than you un…" He whispered.**

"**I heard that, you trying to ask me out or something?"**

"**Maybe un…" Deidara replied, before feeling Sasori's arm around his waist.**

"**The answer's yes, you're hot enough, not to mention another artist."**

**Deidara squealed and jumped onto Sasori, who caught him and began smiling.**

"**Come on, let's get back to the base."**

"**Ok danna un." Deidara replied, starting to get down.**

"**Get on my back, there's no way my Dei's walking." **

**Deidara giggled and jumped on Sasori's back, wrapping his arms around the puppets neck as Sasori took off.**

"**I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I wouldn't mind being carried around like this everywhere un!"**

"**And I wouldn't mind carrying you everywhere hon!"**


End file.
